Anyone who has ever travelled knows vacation life is a little like a fantasy. Sometimes, the thrill of taking a trip is that you can be anyone you want and no one will be the wiser. While photos reveal one side of your vacay, there is often an unspoken travellers’ code that says “this never happened”. From the moment the plane takes off to your first day back at the office you are off the grid, and what happens in Vegas (or *enter destination here*) stays there, right? Right. Until now.
Here are 10 things all travellers do but may not admit to. Don’t worry, your secret is safe with us.
“Steal” all the “freebies” from the hotel room
Sure, you have shampoo and conditioner at home, and that bar of soap will probably dry your skin out faster than a day in the sun, but it would be wrong to leave it behind! Also, how many times have you thought to yourself, “I really wish I had a shower cap right now?” Ok, so maybe you’ve never thought that, but one day you just might and you will forever regret that time you were on vacation and didn’t bring home the free shower cap. Do you want to live a life full of regrets? You take it. You take it all. That robe and those slippers should probably come home with you, too. Oh, those aren’t “free?” Hmmm, you could have swore they were.
Aspire to join the mile high club
They make it look so fun and risque in the movies, and what a great way for you and your partner to spice things up. You both agree that you’re up for trying new things, so why not this? You plot and plan… and then you actually see the bathroom. Well, it was a nice thought while it lasted.
Avoid using the hotel bathroom when travelling with a new significant other
Ah, new love. You are blissfully in the honeymoon stage of the relationship, which means you are also in the “I have zero bodily functions!” stage as well. Ignorance is bliss… and probably pretty painful. You rather hold your “feelings” in to avoid any embarrassment (even if we all do it). Also, your disdain for public bathrooms suddenly fades away into what can only be called your saving grace. Let’s raise a glass to hotel lobby restrooms… the real hero of a couple’s first getaway.
Fake a name and backstory
Anonymity can be a great thing sometimes. Always wanted to be musician travelling with your indie band? Guess what – now you are! Sure, the last instrument you played was the recorder, but don’t let that stop you. It’s time to test out how long you can hold an Irish accent and see how much free dessert you can rack up by saying you just got engaged. You are all about taking advantage of your new persona. The chance to say and do things that you normally wouldn’t is almost as intoxicating as the free drinks your alter ego is receiving.
Avoid sunscreen
For some, coming home with a golden glow is a must-have, no-questions-asked requirement of a summer vacation. For whatever reason, some people hold the belief that if you put on sunscreen, no one will even know you went to the beach. Truth is, if the UV rays can get through clouds, it can bust through that SPF 30 you are wearing as well. Forgoing sunscreen may eventually lead to a tan, but you will first experience pain, weird tan lines, resemble a lobster and shed skin like a snake (and that’s only in the short term). Slow and steady wins the race (you tell yourself for the next time).
Sneak into another all-inclusive resort
Sure, your resort has everything you need… but what do the other resorts nearby offer? You have a grass-is-always-greener itch that needs to be scratched. Maybe the sunset looks a little more purple in that direction. Maybe you’ve heard that the food there is just a cut above. Or, perhaps, curiosity just got the best of you. Whatever the case may be, you threw caution to the wind and hoped no one noticed your green bracelet in the sea of red ones.
Pee in the ocean
When you gotta go, you gotta go. You’re never going to see that ocean again (or, at the very least, for a year or so), so what will it hurt? Let’s be honest, kids do it all the time. The tide is nature’s flusher if you think about it. After all, vacation is about relaxing and you know what is not relaxing? Getting out of the water and making the trek to the public bathroom where the lines are long and the floors are dirty. Why waste the energy when you are already swimming? Best. Logic. Ever. (Unless anyone asks.)
Buy souvenirs for friends but keep them for yourself
You go into the gift shop with the best intentions. You want your loved ones to have a piece of the amazing experience that was your vacation. You pick up a few items you know they will appreciate. Problem is, you find yourself “appreciating” them too. How will you remember Mexico if you don’t have shot glasses with sombreros on them? By the time you are done claiming all the presents for yourself, you are left with a couple postcards. Good thing you took all those freebies from the hotel. Nothing says “I thought about you on my trip” like a bar of soap.
Overshare on social media
Just because you’re loving vacation doesn’t mean you need to post 10 pictures of your favourite Uber driver. Sometimes the thrill (and at times intoxication) of your trip makes you a little trigger happy when it comes to posting pictures and “checking in” everywhere from baggage claim to the hotel pool. The beach makes for a great picture, but you may want to rethink that 5th image of your toes in the sand (believe it or not, one #hotdoglegs selfie or photo of beer in hand will get the point across).
Feel homesick
You are having the time of your life, so why are you wondering what position your dog is currently curled up in? You’re in a tropical paradise, yet you’re wondering how your friends are doing back home in the cold. A vacation is an amazing experience and you will surely miss it when you return to reality. Still there is something about coming home that nothing can replace… until your next trip at least. You may as well start planning, right?
Clear your conscience in the comments and let us know what you do on vacay that you wouldn’t do at home.
Main image: istockphoto/SHansche
