Like the “Degrassi” franchise, Schwartz’s smoked meat sandwiches and pre-terrible-twenties Bieber, Canada has this habit of lumping hockey in with things that are decidedly “ours”. But buy one ticket (for $20, no less) to a game south of the border, and you’ll see that die-hard NHL fandom is just as American as it is Canadian.
In the words of Stompin’ Tom Connors, nothing brings us all together quite like a good old hockey game. American fans are forced to learn the names of major Canadian cities, and Canadian fans are forced to ditch all beer snobbery in favour of slugging back lukewarm Miller Lites (ah, the nostalgic taste of frat keg).
Sure, we all remember that one blip when bowling had higher viewership in the States than professional hockey (FOR SHAME), but from Calgary to Colorado, Toronto to Tampa Bay, what permeates an NHL arena is that flaking face paint, sticky-shoed, crackly voiced fandom, fizzy and alive as the nine-dollar beer in your cup. We set out to find the ways in which Canadian and American fans differ, but ended up coming to the following conclusion — we’re all just the same glass-banging, ref-taunting, obnoxiously dressed hockey fans at heart.
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The Cheers
No matter how lacking in lyricism, hockey cheers are a universal language—when that organ honks out “Charge” or “We Will Rock You” blares from the Jumbotron, the call-and-response is as engrained in a hockey fan as booing a wayward ref—maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s growing up in a devout hockey household draped in a muumuu-sized jersey and referencing “O Canada” as “that hockey song” until age eight.
From the Katy Perry-Cindy Crosby debacle (for those unfamiliar and/or not 12, that was when Winnipeg Jets fans taunted the Anaheim Ducks’ Corey Perry with a rousing arena-wide “Katy Perry” chant, quickly followed by Pittsburgh Penguins heartthrob Sidney Crosby being called “Cindy Crosby”. Wordsmithery, really.) to the oh-so-Canadian “Eh! Oh! Let’s go!”, a rhythmic rally chant bastardized by many a fast-food commercial, hockey cheers on both sides of the border can get pretty heated. We’re all in this one together.
The Food
It’s come a long way from the cardboard pizza slices and cheese-from-a-pump “nachos” of yore. Now, arenas are decked out with artisanal sausage stands, taco trucks and poutineries south of the border (we’re not kidding, Canadian staple Smoke’s Poutinerie has now hung its lumberjack hat at the Amalie Arena in Tampa Bay).
The Carolina Hurricanes even, for inexplicable reasons, roasted a whole pig on a spit pre-game. (Their mascot is a pig. It’s all very strange). But, pierogis and negronis at the Rogers Arena, chicken and waffles at the Bridgestone Arena and roasted beet salad and gluten-free beer at the Staples Center? Now we’re talking.
The Sore Losers
As evidenced by every single photo taken at every single game, neither Canadian nor American fans take the high road when losing to a rival. It’s all part of the experience, like suppressing the memory of how much you spent on a losing ticket or that one time you drank too much and thought it was a good idea to buy a commemorative program, foam finger and a [famous hockey player name] bobble head.
The National Anthems
Not that we expect the St. Louis Blues to break out the big guns for lowly “O Canada” or anything, but come on. Not only do a grand total of three people in an American arena know so much as a bar of the not-difficult Canadian anthem, but the difference between 76-year-old off-Broadway understudy Jean-Claude Gaston they hired to warble “O Canada” and the borderline Macy’s Parade that breaks out for the Star Spangled Banner—light show, confetti, Adele-worthy end note, choked-up patriots, etc—is almost a Hall of Fame worthy sports cliché. But there’s an exception to every rule, and you can watch it here. (Way to choke it out, Nashville. You each get a cabane à sucre.)
The Rivalries
The San Jose Sharks vs. The Los Angeles Kings. The New York Rangers vs. the New York Islanders. The Montreal Canadiens vs. the Boston Bruins. The Toronto Maple Leafs vs. literally everyone (see: this sweater). It wouldn’t be Hockey Night in Canada (or the States—we don’t discriminate) without a little—or a lot—of healthy competition, especially when there’s a nasty trade or bad blood from a past playoff feud in the subtext of flying pucks and sticks.
The Fashion
From team-flag togas to precariously decorated jock straps, getting screen time on the Jumbotron is a sport of its own—a punny sign and a jersey may get you on the Kiss Cam, but the primetime slots are reserved for those college bros who spent more on their colour-coordinated morph suits than they did on four years of textbooks.
Because a hockey jersey is a perfectly acceptable thing to wear to a bar/to work/to a wedding in Canada, we take pride in our next-gen editions of said all-purpose accessory (hey, if Rihanna can wear an Ottawa Senators jersey as a minidress, so can we). But, not to be outdone, in the most American of American things, behold: Mandy Moore getting Punk’d in a Boston Bruins tee topped with what appears to be a costume piece from Newsies. Puck drop.
Header Image: Paul Joseph, 10-Feb-19 via Flickr (CC by 2.0)
